Things to do While Sitting on the Toilet

I googled things to do while sitting on the toilet assuming something interesting would result, but the only funny thing I found was Don’t Get Caught On The Toilet When Jesus Comes Back!

But I’m serious: while sitting on the toilet waiting to finish your, uh, business… what do you do? Here’s some suggestions. Add your own in the comments.

  • Read.
  • Play video games (gameboy, etc.).
  • Wait patiently while staring at the ceiling or floor.
  • Do crosswords.

Man, this site is going down the drain.

22 thoughts on “Things to do While Sitting on the Toilet

  1. Stevo

    If you wanna have a laff while popping poo out of bum then when you
    fell the urge to go get a vivid or something that will write on
    toilet paper and start doin your business. Then get a new roll and
    start writting a story then roll it back up. when the next guy goes
    they will read it LOL LOL LOL, my story was about a guy stuck in a
    toilet paper factory. Have fun

  2. Spartacus

    I have several suggestions on how a nice legnthy poo can be spent. 1st. If you are in a public rest room and there are others participating in the same activity, race them, that is always fun, or just start a conversation. Everyone enjoys good healthy conversation once and in a while. 2nd. Shine your shoes. They can always use a good shining. 3rd. read you mail. That way you can just flush the junk mail down with the other crap, where it belongs. 4th. Write a comic strip on the wall of the stall. 5th. Clean out your wallet(or Purse). I know I have found some interesting stuff in mine. 6th and finally, surf the web for “things to do on the toilet” and amuse yourself with your Laptop’s wilreless capabilities.

  3. Jo

    1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, “May I borrow a highlighter?”

    2. Say “Uh oh, I knew I shouldn’t put my lips on that.”

    3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise

    4. Say, “Hmmm, I’ve never seen that color before.”

    5. Drop a marble and say, “Oh shoot! My glass eye!”

    6. Say “Darn, this water is cold.”

    7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.

    8. Say, “Now how did that get there?”

    9. Say, “Humus. Reminds me of humus.”

    10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, “Whoa! Easy boy!!”

    11. Say, “Interesting….more sinkers than floaters”

    12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, “Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?

    13. Say, “C’mon Mr. Happy! Don’t fall asleep on me!

    14. Say, “Boy, that sure looks like a maggot”

    15. Say, “Darn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?”

    16. Play a well known drum cadence over and oven again on your butt cheeks

    17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your “Cross-Dressers Anonymous” newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

    18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, “Peek-a-boo!”

    19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing “Born Free.”

  4. klain

    while on the toilet pretend you are at the doctors and you are the patient and then the doctor..and then the patient and then the doctor..i think you get the picture..and once your finished make the doctor say”..ok were all done..now let me clean you up abit”

  5. Tommy's Brudder

    Reviving dead blog comments on my wireless laptop.

    Not kidding. Right now.

    By the way, how do I contact Ripleys Believe It or Not?. This monstrous log is shaped like Philip’s head (except I don’t believe Phil actually steams). I thinks I will be famous now. Ebay here i come.

  6. tommyboy

    i am in no way related to this constipated, perhaps now completely dialated individual…

  7. sayanything

    Write essay questions on the paper or walls, i did this at college then a couple of days later i got loads of different answers.
    try it.

  8. johnnymoses

    i like souljabois’ idea. i use my laptop. go get DSL in your house, then you can email and chat while dropping the kids off @ the pool. It helps to relax and let it flow naturally! Speak of the devel…. Plop, splash, sizzle…….

  9. macka g

    just let the natural flow of buisness happen.
    anyway it isn’t all ways a pretty site, if you
    try to draw whilst on the crapper, so just push and feel
    the current of fecess eject itself from your bowels!

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