Future Smokers Needed

Kids Must Smoke – an open letter from the Canadian Union of Nicotine and Tobacco Sellers:

Please excuse our acronym, but we […] would like to point out that nicotine and tobacco occur naturally in the world; and fire occurs naturally as well. So, we regard the inhaling of tobacco smoke as a natural act.
We sell tobacco for our livelihood and since one out of every two smokers die from the habit we need a constant supply of new recruits. The World Health Organization (WHO) reports that 10,000 people die from tobacco use every day. So as you can see, we are in desperate need for new customers.