Jan 29 2005
Name Your Disease
Dr. Unheimlich’s Disease Registry offers…
a full diagnosis and registration service, by which your current (or imminent) ailment can be archived in your name, in perpetuity.
For example:
Steel white tableitis:
Cause: self-abuse
Symptoms: vague appetite changes, being able to fire webs from wrists, extreme tiredness
Cure: none
Symptoms: vague appetite changes, being able to fire webs from wrists, extreme tiredness
Cure: none
Bad luck! You are suffering from
Greg Rekounas’ Lurgy.
Cause: overwork
Symptoms: glow-in-the-dark spots, sudden nosebleeds, whitening of teeth, leg swelling
Cure: click heels together three times