Jul 31 2005
Hitting Them Out There
My girlfriend, Jenny, and I just got back from a driving range where we whacked a bucket of 60 balls each as hard as we could. Neither of us have a clue how to hit a golf ball, and it didn’t take much to realize it isn’t easy. About 10 of my golf balls bounced off the walls of the wooden box I was in and went nowhere (I should have been wearing a cup), another 10 dribbled about 4 feet from the tee, 30 of them went about 100 yards, sometimes through the air, sometimes bouncing along the grass the whole way, and I’d say about 10 of them were hit perfectly, as perfectly as I can hit them anyway. Complete fluke every time, but they would sail across the sky for what seemed like a long time until I couldn’t see them land. I’m guessing most of them went about 250 yards. I’d like to have someone show me how to hit the ball properly. I’ve got the power to hit them out there; I just don’t know what the hell I’m doing. Whether whacking them way out there, or completely missing the ball (which was about half the time), it was fun — it was absurd. Jenny and I laughed at ourselves the whole time. She hit the ball as well as I did, not as far but with much greater consistency. We’re looking forward to doing it again, and maybe learning some basics. Now that we’ve had a taste of it, it’s not difficult to understand how some people really get into this game.
Hollywood and I went to the driving range today too! Pretty much the same experience, though we’ve done it 2 times before, but I don’t think it’s helped our “game” very much. They didn’t have any drivers though so I was using some sort of “iron”.. My best hits would go a little over 150 yards, not as gratifying.
Tomorrow we’re going real golfing, as in, screaming “four” at people which means to put on your helmet and cover your ass, then walking 10 minutes and repeat.
We’ll probably go golfing on a real golf course next week. There’s a public golf course nearby, probably the only public golf course on Prince Edward “Such Every Dollar Out of You” Island. And a helmet isn’t a bad idea. Some of my drives went straight, but I sliced a few of them, and man did they ever slice. Near the end some guy was driving around the range in a golf ball collector tractor. Having something to aim at seemed to improve my hitting. A few balls wizzed right past his head. The best one went straight at him as he was coming towards me, but went higher and higher and landed around the 250-yard sign.
For some reason, Jenny and I are all stiff and sore today, our legs and our upper body. We run every other day, but I guess swinging the golf club uses different muscles. We’ve been aching all day.
> We run every other day
“We” run?! Since when, Fatty?
I’ve been running since July. Jenny runs much faster than me, and farther than me, and I don’t enjoy as it much she does (my mountain bike is at your place for the summer), so I’ve taken up running. My motivation for getting in better shape: seeing your man-boobs. I don’t ever want to see those in the mirror. A gut I can live with, but not that. I doubt I’ll ever take up running in a big way. I can ride my bike all day long non-stop and enjoy it, but after 30 minutes of running, I’m ready to go home.
The best exercise I ever got was playing squash — if sweat is a measurement of exercise. The year I played squash (in an unventilated squash court which was like playing inside an oven) was great. It’s such a fast game requiring quick reaction time. I’d play for 45 mins, sometimes an hour, and be completely drenched in sweat by the time I was done, slipping around on the court because of the sweat dripping everywhere. That was fun. I’d love to do that again.