Steel White Table

That’s what I’m going to do right now. I’ve lost my regular internet connection, and I’m in a public library. I’m gonna start typing now and whatever foolishness comes out is what is what you’re going to get. This is going to suck. Don’t expect any links or anything fancy like italics. Here goes…

Okay, let me think… Okay, let me think some more… Hmm… Umm… Alright, here it is. This is it:

I saw the computer animated movie “Valiant” over the weekend. It’s about carrier pigeons during WWII. It is the worst computer animated film I’ve seen to date. It was so dull, uninteresting, unfunny, had I been there by myself, I would have walked out. I could smoke a pound of dope and write a better script than “Valiant.” It may have worked as an animated short, but there’s just not enough to hold out for a full-length feature. And not a thing to look at it. Computer animated movies for kids should be at least visually stimulating, give the kiddies something goosh about. But there is nothing to see here, folks. The most vibrant colour I saw was grey. Skip this movie. It’s a stinker.

I also watched about 10 movies on video this past week. Some real stinkers there, too. Don’t ask me why, but I rented a few of the “Lethal Weapon” movies. I had no idea how absolutely awful these movies are. What in the hell is the appeal of Mel Gibson in these movies? I suppose there’s an audience for this kind of crap (they made four of them after all), but it’s not an easy concept to get my head around. Danny Glover, who isn’t a bad actor, must have got a huge paycheque to work next to such a horrible actor as Mel Gibson. I also recently saw Gibson’s “Braveheart” again, which won a boatfull of Academy Awards, and what an unwatchable movie that is, too, even worst than “The Passion of the Christ.” Laughably bad, but not in a funny way. Revisiting these crappy movies was like watching reruns of “Gilligan’s Island.” They don’t age well, and that’s saying it nice.

Other movies from the crap pile: “Igby Goes Down.” Claire Danes is good, for the small role she has (she’s always good), but everything else is a waste of time. (Speaking of Claire Danes, I loved her “Terminator III: Rise of the Machines,” a much under-rated sequel.) “Igby Goes Down” is supposed to be a Catcher in the Rye kind of story. It’s not. Next: George Lucus’s “THX-1138.” I saw this years ago, when I was about 13, and it put me to sleep. I saw it yesterday, and it put me to sleep. Makes you wonder how George Lucas ever made it in the movie business. Give him some toys to play with and he can come up with a few neat tricks, but he is othewise completely unoriginal.

From the good pile: “The Ballad of Jack and Rose.” Daniel Day-Louis (whose talent was wasted in “Gangs of New York”) makes this movie. Man, is he good. The movie is about a guy who lives on what used to be a commune, growing his own food, generating his own electricity, etc. All the other commune folks left years ago, and he’s holding out with his daughter in their old wooden house while suburbs are being built all around him. If you’re not so fond of “progress” as made manifest by Wal-Marts and rows and rows of houses that look exactly the same, you’ll like this one. I totally dug it.

“Calendar Girls” is a sweet little film about a bunch of older women in Yorkshire (which looks like a beautiful place to live) who were the first group of women to pose nude for a calendar to raise money for cancer. Everyone does it nowadays, but it’s fun to watch how it first began. Helen Mirren is great actor. Not a great film, but, like I said, sweet.

“Wonderboys” with Michael Douglas as a writer who can’t finish his second novel, a novel that keeps growing and growing and growing. I saw it went it first came out, and I enjoyed it even more this second time around. Well drawn characters. All the actors are perfectly cast, and fun to watch. Some might think it’s slow, but it felt honest (and therefore hilarious) to me. Anyone who’s ever worked at their writing, and knows how much fun that blank page can be, will enjoy this movie. It also features Bob Dylan’s excellent song, “Things Have Changed.” (The DVD includes the video, which I laughed at all the way through.)

I also watched “Waking Ned Devine” last night. I own this DVD, and I always enjoy watching this one. Makes you want to live in a small village in Ireland.

There were some other movies, but I can’t remember them now (I rented a bunch).

I began reading W.P. Kinsella’s novel “If Wishes Were Horses” last week, but gave up on it after 50 pages. I’ve read two of his novels and a collection of his short stories, all of which I enjoyed. They were magical. But there’s no magic in recycling the same characters again and again, which is all he seems to do these days. I’ll probably strart reading Paul Auster’s “The New York Trilogy” soon. I read some of it awhile back and found it much more readable then the Kinsella book (I had so much hope for Kinsella; it’s too bad). So I’m looking forward to getting back to it. Start from the beginning and go right through.

Anyway, I’d say this entry is long enough now. I have other things I could blabber on about, but I have too much work to catch up on. One last thought, though, before I leave:

When it rains, the beautiful red dirt of Prince Edward Island smell like urine. They don’t tell you that is the tourist brochures.

Over and out,

Phillip

P.S., I’m not proof-reading any of this. Not like anyone besides my brother will read past the first paragraph anyway. See ya.

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