There Are No Time-outs In Iraq

From No One Dares to Help:

On a recent Sunday, I was buying groceries in my beloved Amariya neighborhood in western Baghdad when I heard the sound of an AK-47 for about three seconds. It was close but not very close, so I continued shopping.
As I took a right turn on Munadhama Street, I saw a man lying on the ground in a small pool of blood. He wasn’t dead.
The idea of stopping to help or to take him to a hospital crossed my mind, but I didn’t dare. Cars passed without stopping. Pedestrians and shop owners kept doing what they were doing, pretending nothing had happened.
I was still looking at the wounded man and blaming myself for not stopping to help. Other shoppers peered at him from a distance, sorrowful and compassionate, but did nothing.
I went on to another grocery store, staying for about five minutes while shopping for tomatoes, onions and other vegetables. During that time, the man managed to sit up and wave to passing cars. No one stopped. Then, a white Volkswagen pulled up. A passenger stepped out with a gun, walked steadily to the wounded man and shot him three times. The car took off down a side road and vanished.
No one did anything. No one lifted a finger. The only reaction came from a woman in the grocery store. In a low voice, she said, “My God, bless his soul.”

And I worry about how many time-outs my daughter gets at school.

(via growabrain)

Neil Peart

neil peart at the drumsAn interview with Neil Peart (link no longer works so it was removed) where he talks about being a drummer, writer, and motorcyclist. When asked what his favorite Rush song is:

“Tom Sawyer” is certainly one of our best known songs, but it’s always hard to play. It’s always a challenge, so how can that be boring? There’s still an exciting thing about playing “Red Barechetta.” There’s still elements of that song where you feel the audience elevate. There are those genuine dynamic peaks and those genuine organic responses.

I gotta try some of his books. He has his own website.

Everyone Gets Time-outs

One of the daily rituals with my daughter (who started school this year) is finding out how many time-outs she received during the day.

Her: Only one today, Dad!
Me: Alright! High-five!

Well, last night was our first parent-teacher meeting and I was expecting the worst:

You’re CAITLYN’S parents?! You don’t look like awful parents.

It went well, though. The teacher said she isn’t different from any of the other kids who are getting used to the classroom routines.

I should probably stop asking about time-outs.

Joke Of The Year

A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears a…
…BUMP!
Then another…BUMP!

And another…BUMP!

Walking faster, he looks behind him, peering through the curtain of fog, and makes out the shape of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP!..BUMP!…BUMP!

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing ever faster behind him!

BUMP!…BUMP!
And FASTER!
BUMP!BUMP!BUMP!!

He runs up to his house, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes inside, slams and locks the door behind him. But the casket crashes through his door! The lid of the casket is now banging and clapping as the monstrosity continues to bump along toward him!

Clappity-BUMP! Clappity-BUMP! Clappity-BUMP!

With the strange, scary, animated box of death hard on his heels, the terrified man continues to run for his life! Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself inside. His heart is pounding! His head is reeling! His breath is coming in short, sharp, sobbing gasps!

And with a loud CrrrrRASH! the horrific casket breaks down his bathroom door, bumping and clapping its way toward him. The man screams for his life, simultaneously reaching for something — anything! — to throw at the horrifying thing. But the only substantially heavy object he finds is bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket and…

…(wait for it)…

…the coffin stops.

(Last year’s joke)

An Appreciation Of Calvin & Hobbes

25 Great Calvin & Hobbes Strips

Bill Watterson drew thousands of strips, and while I wish like hell that he would come back and draw more, it’s probably best to reflect and be thankful for what he’s done. Below we have showcased, in no particular order, some of our favorite Calvin & Hobbes strips of all time.

They posted memorable strips along with a short blurb that highlights their uniqueness.

Calvin & Hobbes Is Born

I’ve posted about Calvin & Hobbes a few times before.