May 06 2008
Are You Qualified?
A stranger was seated next to a little 5th grade girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, ‘Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.’
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, ‘What would you like to talk about?’
Oh, I don’t know’, said the stranger. ‘How about nuclear power?’
‘OK’. she said. ‘That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first: ‘A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?’
The stranger thinks about it and says, ‘Hmmm, I have no idea.’
To which the little girl replies: ‘Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know shit?
(Thanks to Chris)
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Tags: joke, nuclear power
Henry and Anja are going to Calgary in July, by themselves…..perhaps I should coach them in this interaction and see what happens…
…I laughed at that one…not all of them but that one elicited a chortle….
Didn’t make me laugh.
Now, Jody, when are you going to make your chess move?
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking, the monkey is running all around the place. He grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the pool balls and to everyone’s amazement, sticks it in his mouth, and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, ‘Did you see what your monkey just did?’
‘No, what?’
‘He just ate a pool ball……. whole!’
‘Well, that doesn’t surprise me,’ replied the guy, ‘he eats everything in sight. I’m sorry about that, but I’ll pay for the ball and stuff.’ The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.
A few weeks later the guy and his monkey are back. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is sipping on his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. ‘Did you see what your monkey just did?’
‘No, what?’
‘Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, pulled it out and ate it. Then he stuck a peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!’ said the bartender.
‘Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,’ replied the guy. ‘He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he shit that cue ball, he measures everything first.
okay phillip you had to have laughed at that one…I heard this one recently did you post this before Jody..
Nope, never posted that monkey joke. Here’s a search for ‘monkey’ on the site.