John Walkenbach is giving away an old computer. He said, “Leave a comment here and tell me what you would do with this computer if you won it. The ‘best’ entry will win it.” I told him I’d send him a few bottles of a special limited edition all-natural honey from my first bee hive this year. The label on the bottles would look something like this.
I haven’t built my bee hive yet (I’m building it today) and I won’t know for a few weeks if I can get bees early enough to have a honey harvest this year. But if it does happen — and I win the computer — I’ll send John as much as I can spare. Even if I don’t win the computer, I’ll just put my name on the label and keep the “Claw Hammer Honey” name. That’s an ingenious name for a brand of honey. I’d buy it.
UPDATE #1: We built our first bee hive today.
UPDATE #2: For the record, this is what I said I’d do if I won the computer: “If I win the computer, I will name him Johnny. I will then make Johnny my slave and use him, with the help of Excel, to calculate how much honey I can produce in my first honey bee hive this summer. Provided the calculations are correct, at the end of the season I will bottle my honey harvest under a commemorative limited edition label, Walkenbach’s Special, and send a couple bottles to Arizona. Next year, I’ll send twice as much.”
UPDATE #3: I didn’t win. And he more or less chose the winner randomly? As Clay Davis would says, “She it.” I can’t believe it. I am stunned. What was the point in trying to bribe him? And I told a half decent story to boot. I feel like a crest-fallen sidekick in an old café. I don’t know how John is going to make this up to me, but it better be good. Real good.