Why scotch isn’t beer

I was recently asked:

A few nights ago a friend and I dropped by a pub for a pint. While I was ordering my beer, I heard a guy talking about how scotch and beer have the same ingredients, that they’re only brewed differently, and that if you let beer age for 15 years you’d end up with scotch.

Is this true? How can scotch and beer be the same thing? I have my doubts.

Short answer: scotch is distilled, beer is not.

Scotch and beer have the same ingredients (except beer often uses hops) and processes up to a point. Both start with barley and sometimes other grains, which is turned into a malt by soaking it in water until it sprouts. It’s then dried to stop the sprouting. Most scotch distilleries use peat to dry their malt, giving it a smokey flavor. Beer breweries often just use a hot oven. Once groundup, it’s then soaked with water and yeast to produce a wort. From there, the processes change for scotch and beer: scotch is distilled, beer isn’t.

I wouldn’t want to drink beer that’s been aged for 15 years; I doubt it’d be drinkable.

I think I may create a scotch site to add to the other 1,810,000 out there.

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Running with Scissors

Running with Scissors I’m reading Augusten Burroughs Running with Scissors now. Some reviews of it can be found here.

The first chapter is narrated by a young boy (around nine), describing how his mom is getting ready to go out for a poetry reading and how he likes shining things. I’m not bored of it yet.

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Tim Hortons’ automated response, Part 2

Oh boy:

Thank you for your email. A representative from our customer service department will respond to your request as soon as possible. Merci de votre courriel. Un repr’sentant de notre service aux clients vous repondra aussi rapidement que possible.

Your reference number is / Votre num’ro de reference est : OAKN-5VSKRD

(See Part 1, and then, Part 3, their formal response.)

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Tim Hortons in the U.S., Part 1

I emailed the following to Tim HortonsCustomer Service (email address there) today:

Dear Tim Hortons,

I’m from Moncton, N.B., where I am used to consistent coffee servings: a "double-double" is the same at every Tim Hortons I go to.

I’ve been traveling to the U.S. recently and was pleasantly surprised to see some Tim Hortons. Like other national franchises and your Canadian stores, I expected the same quality and service in the U.S.; unfortunately, there’s a big difference.

First, I was surprised to discover that the "large" size I’m used to in Moncton is an "extra large" in the U.S.; a Canadian "medium" is a "large" in the U.S. A minor complaint.

Secondly, and more importantly, the cream and sugar measurements added to coffees are inconsistent between each visit to the store. One day a "double-double" is equivalent to a "single-single", the next it’s a "triple-triple". Each day is a surprise.

Do your franchise operations go through training to ensure coffee servings are consistent? Shouldn’t there be a standard measurement for a "double-double"?

The U.S. Tim Hortons I frequent is at:
29030 Van Dyke Ave
Warren, MI 48093-2301

I’m looking forward to your response.

Sincerely,

jody cairns

Updates: See Part 2 (automated response), and Part 3 (their formal reply).

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Footballs and a lone nipple

Here’s an article with a photo of the controversial moment.

Update: My resourceful brother (yes, he sought this out) found a high-resolution image of the now infamous nipple.

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