I did a lot of drugs when I was a kid…

…because I ate Cherrios (as did Superman, of course).

Popular cereal is a drug, US food watchdog says — and I quote:

Citing a clinical study, the product labels also claim that eating two servings a day of Cheerios helps to reduce bad cholesterol when eaten as part of a diet low in saturated fat and cholesterol, the FDA letter says.

Those claims indicate that Cheerios — said by General Mills to be the best-selling cereal in the United States — is intended to be used to lower cholesterol and prevent, lessen or treat the disease hypercholesterolemia, and to treat and prevent coronary heart disease.

“Because of these intended uses, the product is a drug,” the FDA concluded in its letter.

I was thinking traces of cocaine, which makes more sense when I think about how I used to behave after eating a bowl of Cherrios. At least my cholesterol is well balanced.

Today’s quote – a joke about, uh, Cheerios

Two little kids, aged six and eight, decide it’s time to learn how to swear. So, the eight-year-old says to the six-year-old, “Okay, you say ‘ass’ and I’ll say ‘hell'”.

All excited about their plan, they troop downstairs, where their mother asks them what they’d like for breakfast.

“Aw, hell,” says the eight-year-old, “gimme some Cheerios.” His mother backhands him off the stool, sending him bawling out of the room, and turns to the younger brother. “What’ll you have?”

“I dunno,” quavers the six-year-old, “but you can bet your ass it ain’t gonna be Cheerios.”