“What Button Do I Press?”

A recent phone conversation:

Mom: How do I play a DVD?
Me: Did you put it in? What’s on the screen?
Mom: A TV channel.
Me: Change to channel three.
Mom: Okay, I see “Play movie” and other stuff now.
Me: Good. Press “Play” or “Enter” on the remote.
Mom: The remote has no labels. The buttons are all shaped like arrows.
Me: Press the one that looks like a Play button, or it could be a button bigger than others.
Mom: I’m afraid to press something in case I mess it all up.
Me: You want me to go to your house to press one button on your remote?
Mom: No. Never mind. Thanks. Bye.

I Love My Job!

I wrote my mom today:

At work we have a deadline in 2 weeks, so everyone’s working overtime to get it done. That means I have to work nights and weekends, as consistently as possible for the next 2-4 weeks.
I wish I didn’t have to bring work home.

My mom replied:

so, i am sure this will cause stress on the relationships with your wife and your children – because they all NEED you!
regardless, you need regular rest and relaxation and nourishment or you will get sick again – by the way, you don’t look good – skin and bones, serious and stressed, and not exactly a happy camper. BUT that is only MY impression-you probably are fat, lighthearted, relaxed, and one happy camper! I hope so!

I think she’s being sarcastic.