Pissing In A Straight Line

So I’m standing at the toilet aiming at the water as usual, when I notice I’m pissing on the wall, the floor, and my legs ALL AT THE SAME TIME. What the fuck?! So I apply some gentle pressure to stop the mess I’m making and take a look; I see nothing unusual. I let go and damn! Piss is coming out in three directions.

I hate it when that happens.

22 Replies to “Pissing In A Straight Line”

  1. That’s hysterical.

    That’s one of those universal guy things that often doesn’t get talked about. classic

  2. i cannot stop laughing well maybe my first thought was jody has had a stroke…no hang on I am still laughing…I cannot say I remeber this happening..at least not in a sober state…then again I dont have as much to work with as jody…thanks man I was having by far one of the worst mental days in a while…ha ha ha ha …. poor dawn..my wife thought leaving the toliet seat up was bad…

  3. Yeah, it isn’t something I often hear discussed but something I (sadly) deal with on a regular basis. I suspect a stray pubic hair (in medical terminology, it’s call pubitis). I’ve noticed that sometimes one gets ‘stuck’ right on the ‘hole’ and even a strong stream won’t dislodge it. So, I sterilize a pocketknife and start digging but don’t use the blade part … the trick is to use the corkscrew or, failing that, a mini-router with a 3/4″ stainless steel blade (those manufactured in Germany are best) making sure to turn and twist while at the same time arching the spine to allow for maximum……….

    Um, too much personal detail? Whoops. Sorry. I applaud your discussing this oft-ignored and serious problem. Thank you. No, bless you. :-)

  4. Before I posted it I showed it to Phillip as a litmus test, wondering if this problem was unique to me. Hearing him laugh out loud about it was a big relief – I’m not the only sufferer!

    I didn’t want to get in as much detail as Jim, but since he broke the ice… yeah, it’s usually a hair that’s stuck there, though sometimes it isn’t, which is scary; what if the pee hole sealed itself completely?!

    Welcome to Can’t Piss Straight Anonymous.

  5. That is too funny! Similar thing happened to me last night at 4:00 am when I got up to take a piss. Although I don’t think I hit the wall or my legs and I noticed it right away. I only pissed in two directions.

  6. It’s usually caused by sex/masturbation. You have leftover…stuff in there that’s not urine, so it dries up and partially blocks things. that’s why it will usually straighten out after a few seconds if you push hard enough, you’ll get the cruddy liquid wet enough to let go.

    I bet you all did one or the other before you got the crazy piss! at least that’s what i’ve found through my PISSING EXPERIMENTS!

  7. Thank you Dr. O. No actually, I did not. Unfortunately, I had neither last night. Still had the pissing phenomenon though.

  8. I heard there was some kind of power tool for this blockage, made by black and pecker…

    Im still laugthing about this….

  9. never hits the mark….duh is that another pun…you are funie guyss….

    I’m still laughing about this….

  10. ohhh wonderful…the empolyes of city hall beware…wonder if the effect is as good with female participants…

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