Now that I bought my first acoustic guitar (I’ve always borrowed Phillip’s, who has had at least three, I think: classical, regular acoustic, and a 12 string), what songs should I learn to impress the chicks?
I USED to know a lot of tunes, but that was 20 years ago: The Beatles, Pink Floyd, Rolling Stones, etc. Plus I taught myself how to play The Trees and Closer To The Heart (I still remember to play its beginning) by Rush, and similar guitar songs.
Songs I do NOT care to learn: anything by Bon Jovi or most other Top 40 bands.
I gotta figure out some kid songs for my children, too.
I took this morning off, renting a garden tiller for 4 hours, preparing my garden for the garlic I’ll be planting soon. Afterwards, my children helped me get dirty.
Garlic, like most hardy plants, establishes its roots in the fall, then slowly grows in the near frozen ground. Sometimes you’ll see green shots coming up through the snow.
We grew kale once in Newfoundland. It’s a rough, leafy vegetable that you cook like cabbage. It’s sweet, I think. We were harvesting it after the snow fell; it’s hearty.
I got a haircut today. I now look like a pencil-necked geek.
At one point the barber shaved the back of my neck. He lathered up some cream that he mixed in a cup by adding some hot water. He brushed it on the back of my neck and then shaved off the fussy hairs with a straight razor.
It was so relaxing, I’ve decided to grow my beard out a bit the next time I get my hair cut so he can give me a shave too.
Make $75 per hour at Google.com:
…typically we pay $75 for each hour that you spend with a Google researcher, either in person or on the phone. Most studies last for one to one-and-a-half hours. We don’t pay for your travel time, or travel expenses, though. For online surveys, which you complete from your own computer, the amount varies, depending on the length of the survey.
I applied. That’s about $156,000 a year. American! (Yes, I expect to be doing surveys for google.com 8 hours a day.)
How to Act Crazy
Be subtle. Don’t overdo it. Instead of screaming swear words at people and claiming to be “seeing” things, maybe talk in a low whisper and look at “someone” next to you who isn’t there.
Repeat yourself. Pretend you did not. Insist you did not.
Take a sip of soda, hum while you do it, and insist it isn’t you.
But be warned:
Be ready to reveal the joke. In most states, crazy for real can cause an immediate and sometimes permanent removal of your most basic rights and can land you in a mental ward.
I used to volunteer at a mental hospital, teaching adults how to read. The only thing I had to watch out for was their unpredictability. We’d be reading a book one minute, when all of a sudden they’d do something, like taking a nap; put their head down and start snoring, and REALLY be asleep. Maybe I bored them.