Retail Disobediance

Customer Confidential is a well-written, amusing description of what happens when someone refuses to show their receipt at Costco and Wal-mart:

…there were about a dozen customers in line for “receipt review” at the exit. That represented about six extra minutes that I wasn’t being paid for, and so I rolled toward freedom. The employee “reviewing” receipts left the line and cheerfully said, “I’m going to have to see your receipt first.”
Adopting her happy demeanor, I replied, “And you are going to have to chase me in order to do so.” Sometimes it’s worth being an ass just to see the response on people’s faces. Not only was the receipt lady registering total bewilderment, but several customers in line for the same hassle appeared equally baffled.

He says he isn’t being a prick on purpose, most of the time:

If it sounds at this point as though I’m being an ornery crank about the whole matter, simply consider all those retail establishments at which customers spend vastly greater sums but are not interrogated before their departure. I’ve never been harassed at Pottery Barn or Restoration Hardware, for example.

I dare ya.

A Fountain Of Diet Coke

I first saw the Mentos eruption on MythBusters, where they dissected its cause and also broke the world record with a 33 foot high geyser (or something around there).

  1. Buy a package of Mentos. They’re a mint candy that come in a cylinder wrapper. Get the regular flavor.
  2. Buy a big bottle of Diet Coke Cola. I haven’t tried other brands because I’ve read that brand works the best, but cheaper brands would probably work, too.
  3. Place the Coke on the ground away from anything you don’t want splattered. I recommended a radius of 10 feet.
  4. Take the top off the bottle.
  5. You want to put as many of the Mentos in the bottle at once as you can. A test-tube works great, else try to hold five or six between your fingers as a cylinder.
  6. Drop the Mentos in the bottle (the more, the better) and back away from it.
  7. Watch the fountain-geyser-eruption.

Your kids will have a newfound respect for you after this. They’ll be in awe.

There are a lot of videos available of the Mentos and Coke explosions. The domino one is fun to watch.

I imagine that exploding volcanoes will be a popular school science project this year.

“And You Will KNOW I Am The Lord…”

jules from pulp fiction eating hamburgerBlack actors turn audio Bible into huge seller:

An audio Bible with an all-black cast featuring Blair Underwood, as Jesus, and Samuel L. Jackson has been a runaway hit in the United States, dominating Wal-Mart’s bestseller list since its release.
In Canada, the audio book hasn’t made the same dent. currently lists it as the 99th top selling audio book. But it’s been a hit in the United States, selling over 70,000 units.

Blasphemous Canadians.

(The post’s title is from Pulp Fiction, of course: And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you. BANG! BANG! BANG!)

Dreaming Of People You Don’t Really Know

darren j-walk ashley rebecca jimLast night I dreamt I met most of the people I only know through email and websites, people I haven’t met in person: Jim, Ashley, Rebecca, Darren, J-Walk

My family drove to this wooden, rickety toll booth where Jim was sitting, with headphones and a cigarette, ranting into a microphone. He smiled and waved us through into Whole Wheat Radio Land: a dirt road leading into a campground-like area: lots of trees, hilly terrain, ramshackle cabins and tents, playgrounds and ponds scattered throughout. We drove to a two-storey cabin where a women introduced herself as The Kissing Lady and kissed me. The first floor was a kitchen, with freshly baked bread on tables scattered around, with a big, warm, wood-stove used for baking and providing a comfy feel to the place.

My kids went off to play with a crowd of kids, my wife went with Rebecca and a bunch of other women discussing quilting, and I wandered around the place. I climbed a hill and looked around, seeing Ashley and a woman on the other side of the hill. I yelled to him. He yelled back. I climbed down and he introduced the woman as Ashley, “although it IS a boy’s name,” he said.

The three of us walked around a lake where we passed J-Walk and Darren sitting around a campfire. J-Walk was plunking at a banjo but he stopped and said to us, “Now there’s a sight: Jody and Ashley and Ashley, listening to the twangs of my banjo echo off the water.” Ashley said, “The end.”

I then woke up.