About Phillip

Phillip Cairns is a beekeeper in St. John’s, Newfoundland, who writes about beekeeping at mudsongs.org.

77 Replies to ““Add Five Words” Discussion”

  1. NOTE the update to “the rules” of the story:

    If there have been at least 3 comments since your last comment, consider it a new day and post another 5 words if you want.

  2. “twenty acres of bats”? WTF? An acre is a measurement of land, isn’t it? How does one convert acres to bats? Don’t be surprised if I delete this one.

    UPDATE: I killed it. And I think I’m going to pull the plug real soon.

  3. The confession begins to comment 30. The flatulence comment was redundant, but the theme continued (twice) throughout the story without comment. And like all great literary work, the theme was subtle. I guess too subtle for SWT readers.

    As well, SWT (and notably its hosts) did not pick up on the literary connections of some of the writers of “It is Accomplished”. Another missed theme (thrice). Again, perhaps too subtle for the audience.

    Welcome to literary ghenna.

  4. “It is accomplished” is a reference to Nikos Kazantzakis whose novel THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST is much better than the film. Michael Smith is a Canadian author I’ve never bothered to read because he’s not dead yet. “Rocketship underpants” should be obvious. Hmm… Is Harold Haller somebody I should know?

  5. Okay. I’ll give you the farting themes: “…flat. Usually…”, “broken. Wind..”.

    Now, the minor test (if I may hijack your blog). Name the three fake “writers” of this story (and their respective originating novels).

    I’ll even make it interesting. A prize. For the first person to figure who these literary people are, a very own SWT coffee mug (to go with the CBC mug that half of SWT readers probably have).

    By the way, I’ve trademarked the mug. It’s actually a tea cup. Like those cheap ones your grandmother had. The see through ones. Too small for a real cup of tea. And embarrassing to drink coffee from.

    All yours if you dare to partake.

    I’m timing you Phillip. Tommyboy, if he even gets one (I know he can’t even google), I’ll send him a mug. Picture to follow.
    steel white table mug 1steel white table mug 2steel white table mug 3
    (click for larger view)

  6. Didn’t I just answer these questions? Jude Fawley as in Jude the Obscure by Mr. Hardy. Michael Smith — got ’em already. Never read ’em because he’s not dead yet… Those are the only two I know without the aid of Google. So you can send me 2/3 of the teacup. Just break the handle off.

  7. Jude is a given. My 3 year old knew that one. Wrong on the Michael Smith. The writer is “V. Michael Smith”. Its not that easy.

    I do have to report that Tommyboy prompted me for answers. I consider this cheating and beneath the dignity of SWT. Further, I recommend that he be banned from SWT.

    To make it easy, here are the “writers”:

    “Jude Fawley (done), Harold Haller, V. Michael Smith and me”. “Me” doesn’t count because it is Phillip and cannot be considered a fictional character. Unless Jody has created this vast persona of a “brother” just to make SWT seem more interesting. Not that this character of “Phillip” is very interesting, but just the concept.

    Anyway..

  8. I think Tommy’s Brudder may be the first to guess is: “Phillip” doesn’t actually exist. My name is Betty-Lou, and I’m Jody’s second cousin. I have a Ph.D. in Computer Science and Electronic Engineering. I assist Jody with the maintenance of this blog from time to time. I’m in contact with Phillip about once a month. He provides me with personal information I can use to pass myself off as “Phillip.” But I’m sick of living the lie. For now on if I post anything to SWT, it’ll be under my real name: Betty-Lou. Anything posted by “Phillip” from this day forward will actually be from Phillip. I can’t live like this anymore.

  9. Okay I must confess, Tommys Brudder is actually an artificial intelligence experiment gone wrong…striving to create and entity to solve the ills of the world has adversely resulted in this egomaniac, narrssisitic being that the developers are now trying to determine how best to terminate….mary lo or phillip could do their part in the ridding of this entity by banning all future posts and erasing any evidence of said beings existencece…we must do what we have the power to do….

  10. I can’t believe nobody has stepped up to the challenge. I fear an outsider to SWT will sneak in and win the cup.

    1. Harold Haller
    2. V. Michael Smith

    Phil, my estimation of you has diminished. I know you have these books on your shelves, or in a box or propping up an end table. Jody probably has them as well but thinks this whole deal is a waste of his blogosphere.

    Tommyboy, have you looked at the photos yet? Take the mouse (the little thingy connected by a string to the back of the computer box) and move the little arrow (on the screen) onto the picture and click the button (while over the picture). It gets bigger. (Said in Mr. Roger’s voice). Notice anything you want to complain about?

  11. you thievin’ bastard….but that brings to mind the philisophical question…if you steal something but the person does not notice have you really stolen anything…look out i hear a tree falling….in the woods…or hark i can hear…the sound of one hand clapping..

  12. That’s the first time I’ve webcasted a Simpson’s character. I accomplish so much through this blog!

    (I think Tommyboy and his brudder are spending more time here than me. Jody — you might need to give them posting privileges.)

  13. Perfect. I think SWT needs more porn and I need a place to host my porn downloads. And all my private thoughts. About porn.

  14. I’m sorry. I was dehydrated. A weekend of drinking public water and fluoridization has calmed me. I feel better, more docile. Blogs are good. People who blog are good. Religion is good. The government is good.

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