Maltese Falcon

MALTESE FALCON The Maltese Falcon — I saw it tonight in a theatre. It was okay, but it’s not in the same league as Casablanca. Bogart’s performance is uneven, the romantic element is unconvincing and the story isn’t too intriguing or compelling. For me, it has more style than substance. And even then, it’s not spectacular. My favourite film noir starring Bogart — if you really want to aim for cool just for the sake of being cool — is The Big Sleep, which would be great to see in a theatre. (April 7/08)

The Forbidden Kingdom — A forgettable martial arts film with Jet Li and Jackie Chan. It’s not unwatchable but it ain’t worth watching. (April 20/08)

The Mist — I couldn’t watch more than 30 minutes of Stephen King’s The Mist. Judging only from what I saw, it’s a horror film in the sense that the writing is horrible, the acting is horrible and the special effects are horrible. Everything is so bad, I thought I might enjoy it as a B-movie. And maybe I can. But not today. (April 27/08) Okay, I managed to come back and watch the rest of it. The special effects get a little better and the acting gets worse (the script certainly doesn’t make it easy for them). I can see how the story of a bunch of people stuck in a grocery store while a mist outside full of tentacles and creepy crawlies kills anyone who walks out the door could be a scary movie, but by trying too hard to be dramatic, it’s just stupid. The person I saw the movie with said this: “Man, that movie sucked. Were we ever afraid of anything? Did we ever feel any emotion the director wanted us to feel when he wanted us to feel it? I can’t believe it gets a better rating on Rotten Tomatoes than The Science of Sleep. That’s messed up.” Yup. (April 29/08)

About Phillip

Phillip Cairns is a beekeeper in St. John's, Newfoundland, who writes about beekeeping at

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