Buried, Cremated or Promessioned?

When you’re dead, do you want to be buried, cremated or promessioned? From article I just read in The Walrus:

The dearly departed are first supercooled in liquid nitrogen to about minus 196°C, then shattered into very small pieces on a vibration table… Next a vacuum is used to evaporate moisture while a metal separator… shuffles aside fillings, crowns, titanium hips, and so on… Finally, the vaguely pink crumbs are deposited in a large box made of corn or potato starch.

Then the biodegradable box is buried and a tree or a bush or nothing is planted on top, and that’s it.

From the Wikipedia entry for ‘Promession’:

The volume of remains left by this procedure is about ten to twenty times that left by a cremation, but the advantages claimed include avoiding the release of pollutants into the atmosphere (for instance, mercury vapour from dental fillings) and the rapid degradation of the remains after the procedure (within 6 to 12 months).

STOP THE PRESSES! There’s a video too:

About Phillip

Phillip Cairns is a beekeeper in St. John's, Newfoundland, who writes about beekeeping at mudsongs.org.

6 Replies to “Buried, Cremated or Promessioned?”

  1. I have always wanted my body to be tethered to the back of a car or from a plane. Better make that a plane. Then when I am above the Bay of Fundy, I want to be dropped into the ocean. People can bring their telescopes and binoculars to the event. It would be a family event.

    Billy – “Mommy, can we get some pop corn and watch them drop dead humans into the ocean.”
    Mom – “Sounds good Billy. Invite some of your friends and we will load up the van and head to the pier.”

  2. I think being fed to pigs biodegrates you way faster.

    Doesn’t it take a lot of energy to make liquid nitrogen? You know, like thousands of pouds of pressure to squish that gas into a liquid perhaps? I don’t think that energy is free from the environment, like say, a wooden casket. I also don’t think that vaporizing your fillings is releasing that much toxic gas that we need to start worrying about it. Seems to me that a corpse already is pretty environmentally friendly, if not then if a bunch of us die then it’ll cause a chain reaction that kills everything else on the planet. However, hitler already proved to us that this isn’t the case.

    It always fascinates me why people give a shit about what happens to them after they die.

    If I die before I’m 50 and I’m not dead from a bear mauling or something then buried in a casket someplace, don’t care where.. Preferably someplace cheap, like off a cliff. If I’m older than 50 then cremated and I don’t care where my ashes are, maybe someplace that my family thinks I’d like, you know, if I had the capacity to continue liking stuff after I’m dead.

    My favorite part of the video is the “next: Conspiracy Moon Landing”, that video seems to come from a real reputable source!

  3. “that’ll do pig, that ‘ll do” I am with Pender on this one, perhaps an expert “source” could be consutled, say one that is the guest of the B.C. government…hear there is a fellow there who may know a thing or three about this method…

    I think jody should be taximadermied and dressed up in his best flannel and bow tie….then to the pigs!

    I am sure there is a line “Snatch” that best descibes the piggy method….or Deadwood

    I am liking the pig idea…better have a couple when I go….one pig will not be enough..

  4. I want to be cremated and used as mulch in my garden. Mr. Mean is contemplating donating his body to the U of Tennessee to rot out in the open and be observed rotting and to have copious notes taken and maybe pictures.

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