I Finished My Taxes

Hey, it’s Phillip here. I’m writing this post through an email. What I’m writing will show up on the illustrious Steel White Table in about 30 minutes from my pressing the SEND button (at 5:25pm in Newfoundland). Great. So…

I finished my income tax return today. I would rather work entirely under the table and not give the government any of my money (yeah, I had to pay in) if it meant I didn’t have to read through any more income tax forms. It’s like those Choose Your Own Adventure books, except it’s dehumanizing and there’s nothing adventurous about it.

I know someone who works for Canada Revenue as an auditor. He loves his job. He acts like he’s Columbo or something, but I’m secretly annoyed by everything he says.

That’s all I can think of. Pressing SEND now…

About Phillip

Phillip Cairns is a beekeeper in St. John's, Newfoundland, who writes about beekeeping at mudsongs.org.

8 Replies to “I Finished My Taxes”

  1. I know this may sound self serving considering my recent employment history however I actually have no problem paying taxes …actually I delight in it….I mean I am not always happy by how my contributions are spent but you know…compared to the rest of the world I live like a king….

    I have had this discussion with people here in in Owen Sound and I will ask how did you get here..and how did you get to toronto last weekend…was it on a goat path…some ancient battered down footpath beaten to cement hardness by the crush of thousands of wearied and calloused feet…..nope …ya drove here or there on a road..not quite as good as ones the romans made..but pretty good none the less…and if by your own or others incompetence ya crashed that car..a number of well equiped vehicles with highly trained individuals would come getcha and take you to a even better equiped building with even more highly trained people who would take care of you…granted you may get bill for that ride in that specialized truck and ya may get a bill from some of the services from that building you went to…but in no way do those fees even fractionally come close to the actual costs of the service….(its a canada thing for our american friends…..yeah and no death committess..or whatever that nonsense was in the land south of us)

    all of it paid by taxes….course there is that trashganastan thing….hmmmm

    considering the five years I spent in post secondary education, my own vehicle mishap and hospitaliztion as a youth, my numerous times on pogie, the birth of my two kids, my five year olds 2 weeks in ICU with ecoli, my shattered elbow and subsequent artificial pieces put in, and the public french school that might as well be a private school that my kids attend….I am sure I have used up more than mine , my wife’s contribuitons (who has a great salery and pays a shitload in taxes) and even if I haven’t soo what… cbc is still on the radio..and I still live like a king…

    I think that thing jody had should have a prefex for kingy or knighty stuff…

    I had a friend in Calgary who was an auditor for the auditors he did not like his job…

    I was always under the belief that if ya had to pay in it was good..cause ya got to use the governments money to buy your stuff….I ‘m just being an arsehole phiLLip

    there is a great this hour has 22 minutes where the guy has his shoe box of reciepts and calls the tax 911

  2. Shit… I put it under the wrong post. Phillip posted something via email. I’ve tried to get that working but to no avail. The functionality exists in the dashboard, but I haven’t been able to get it to work.

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