Partnership Dissolved

I was sitting at my kitchen table this morning quietly listening to some Celine Dion while drinking a bag of milk when someone knocked on my igloo door. It was a Mountie from Quebec. He informed me — in French — that a package had arrived from Arizona. (I didn’t ask why he was delivering my mail instead of our regular mail carrier, mainly because I couldn’t figure out how to say something that complicated in French.) There was no return address, just a bunch of Arizona stamps with ducks, bees and turtles on them. This was the moment I’d been waiting for since signing our merger agreement with J-Walk less than 24 hours ago. I won’t get into the details of the agreement; all I can say is that bacon clinched the deal, and that the package from Arizona was supposed to contain a certain rare kind of bacon that can’t even be found in Canada. But it didn’t. There was something in there and I suppose if you were desperate enough you could call it bacon — but it wasn’t bacon. Not even close.

So the deal is off. The partnership (or was it a merger? whatever) — it’s over. We’ll have to wait to hear J-Walk’s side of the story, but I’m fairly confident he will agree to the dissolution of J-Walk’s Steel White Table Blog. (We still own the trademark to “Steel White Table,” so unless he wants to pay us royalties, he’ll have to change the name of his blog back to The J-Walk Blog.)

This all played out like some kind of lame April Fool’s joke, but who’s laughing now?

About Phillip

Phillip Cairns is a beekeeper in St. John's, Newfoundland, who writes about beekeeping at

8 Replies to “Partnership Dissolved”

  1. Does this dark suited militaristic uniforms and provocative salutes….what about the new era?

    same ole same ole I guess….

    I do not know…mess with a man’s bacon…I still think military intervention may be required…I am going to sharpen my hockey stick….

  2. At least he sent you something that resembled bacon.

    When he bought Whole Wheat Radio he was supposed to send us 12 banjos – but what showed up was some plastic statue thing called “Faith Mountain” with a subscription to Guideposts magazine.

    It took almost a week of us spamming him every 2 seconds before he finally agreed to sell us back to CNN.

  3. I’m so sorry but you get infected… I mean I’m now reading your blog too… and I’ll stay… :)

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