Stolen Bikes

I had two mountain bikes stolen from the greenhouse in my backyard last night. I use the greenhouse as a shed in the winter and hadn’t yet cleared it out for the summer. There were three bikes in the greenhouse. Stolen: one super high-tech bike belonging to my friend Mike, and an el-cheapo Wal-Mart bike belonging to Jenny. My refurbished mountain bike, which is probably the best bike in the greenhouse, was untouched.

My guess is the bikes were stolen by some kids cutting through our fenced-in backyard who happened to notice the bikes in the greenhouse as they were about to jump the fence. If they’d known what was in the greenhouse beforehand, I suspect they would have chosen more wisely. Mike’s bike, although high-tech, is custom-built for his physique and almost impossible to ride unless you have extra-long arms like Mike. It’s a weird bike — which I’m sure is already smashed around a tree behind a school somewhere. And Jenny’s bike is a piece of junk.

I normally notice any kind of noise or activity in our backyard at night, but I had a long day yesterday and slept through the night like a bag of cement.

I don’t know what I would have done had I caught them in the act.

May 12/07Pender‘s response is worthy of posting:

I have some kids cut through my yard sometimes, I don’t mind. The shed’s locked and they’re just hopping the fence, probably saves them almost a 10 min walk to get to their friend’s house next door. I have my baby barn locked and don’t keep anything in there of value, if they wanna break the lock off it and steal an old piece of crap birdbath they’re welcome to it. Anything of value I keep in the garage.

Bummer on losing the bikes. I still have to steal a bike for Hollywood.

If it were kids I’d grab one by the scuff and make him sit at my kitchen table and watch me eat a giant bowl of oatmeal. Then I’d call the cops and get him to rat on his friend and call his parents and stuff, out of my hands then. If it were an adult I’d probably bounce his head off the ground for a while.

About Phillip

Phillip Cairns is a beekeeper in St. John's, Newfoundland, who writes about beekeeping at

4 Replies to “Stolen Bikes”

  1. I probably would’ve shouted at them, maybe sic my cats on them. I think any surprising noise is usually enough to make them run away

  2. I’ve caught kids trying to cut through out backyard before. They have to walk past the side of my house, right past my office window where I’m usually working. The last time it happened I went to the back door just as some kids were opening the back gate. I said, “Hey, guys, what’s up?” One took off right away. The other with his hand on the gate said, “Nothing. We just wanted to cut through your yard.” This said, “Okay, go ahead,” which is not the response they expect to hear. It spooks them like it spooked this kid, and he left.

  3. I remember when I was about 17, I had someone throw a rock and break my window at night. I quickly grabbed my bat, turned off all the lights and waited behind the front door for someone to come it. They never did and it was probably a good thing.

    I called the cops and they came by and asked my if I had any scuffles or arguments with people at school, which I didn’t.

    Funny the things you do if you or your property is under attack.

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