calvin hobbes swift kick in the buttA buddy (Greg) got a new router yesterday (a computer router, Steve), but he didn’t mention that I was with him and that I almost drove a pen through the sales guy’s left eye.

Our first mistake was pausing in the main aisle, wondering where they stocked routers; one of the dozens of sales folks buzzing around in hunger noticed our confused look and latched on to it.

“Can I help you guys?”, he asks.

Our second mistake was not responding with “No.”

Instead, one of us says,”We’re looking for a wireless router.”

It went downhill from there.

He asks us what we plan on using the router for (duh), what internet provider we’re using… stupid shit that I’m sure non-techie folks may appreciate; I didn’t have the patience.

I interrupted him: “He wants the cheapest wireless router.”

He comes back with, “Well…” I started reaching for my pen then, but walked away instead.

That reminds me of the occasional support call I have to make to my internet provider (ISP). My cable modem used to stop working a lot and I’d have to get the ISP to reset the connection from their end, but everytime I made the call they made me jump through hoops: “Press Start, then Run. Then type CMD…” I’d always interrupt them: “You want my IP address? Right. Here. You want to to renew the adapter? Done.”

I wish computer support folks could filter out the techies from the non-techies, though I know it’s impossible.

For you American folks, Future Shop, where the incident took place, is owned by Best Buy.


  1. I only like one guy from FutureShop and I bought my HDTV from him. My wife and I purposely picked him over the other guys in the store cause he wasn’t a fuckup.

  2. I bought a relatively cheap stereo from Futureshop a few years ago — from the one guy in the store who didn’t try to sell me extended warranties and didn’t insult my intelligence. Me and my big booming intelligence. He sold me the best stereo in the store. So I like that one guy too.

  3. Conversation overheard 10 or so years ago in Radio Shack == Radio Shack “teckie” to prospective customer: “This computer has the new 3.5 inch floppy. This is a DSHD disk drive. Now the special thing about this kind of diskette is that it can write data on both sides of the data surface… etc etc”

    The patron seemed VERY impressed.

  4. Wow! jody resorting to violence…wish I was there….next time can I come…I’ll hold the clerk for ya if you want…

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