Why invade Canada?
Canada Has Stuff!
First off, let’s make Alaska actually connected to the U.S. again! Those Alaskan folks are always getting screwed by not being part of the “continental 48 states”. Let’s give them a nice little bridge downstairs. A little bit of farmland never hurt anything either, but forget the permafrost part. Canada is the second largest country in the world, let’s fix that.
Why go to the moon? Because it’s there. Same with Canada, it’s just colder than the moon.
(NOTE: I noticed I’ve posted a notable amount of Canadian related entries, so I added a category just for them. You’re welcome.)
From Colin Mochrie as performed on CBC’s This Hour Has 22 Minutes, An Apology To Americans.
I’m sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron, but it wasn’t nice of us to point it out. If it’s any consolation, the fact that he’s a moron shouldn’t reflect poorly on the people of America. After all, it’s not like you actually elected him.
I’m sorry for Alan Thicke, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Loverboy, that song from Seriff that ends with a really high-pitched long note. Your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer, but we feel your pain.
Canadian Association for the Peaceful Takeover of the USA:
At first look, this idea may seem illogical, unworkable, and a complete waste of time. However, on closer examination and with an open mind, it will be obvious to all citizens that this is not only the best choice for North Americans, but realistically, the only viable option.
One of their arguments:
The US is in big trouble, crime wise. There is an overabundance of guns, and no shortage of people willing to use them… Canada, on the other hand, is downright goofy when it comes to guns and crime. The Canadian Government is, at this very moment, in the process of passing legislation to force people to register every single pop-gun and peashooter in the land.