Damn It, I Might Be Going To Heaven After All

The Atheist Missionary has a theory:

If you can conceive of an omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent God, why would they waste time seeking worship from those which it created? […] Such a Creator would view atheism as the ideal worldview and the best possible way to worship.

He proposes that the Bible is a ruse meant to lead humans from the true “religion”: atheism, and that is God’s plan and test:

The only ones going to “heaven” (whatever that turns out to be) will be the ones who relied on the reasoning which their Creator gave them to conclude that he/she/it did not exist. Just imagine … only atheists going to heaven.

Shit, I went to a church a couple months ago. Am I going to Hell now? Damn it.