Urinal Etiquette

urinal etiquetteThe urinals at my workplace are MUCH too close together; so close that most people (including me) won’t use one if someone is using the other; I’ll go to a toilet stall instead.

This brings to mind some rules of urinal etiquette from my own experience and The International Center for Bathroom Etiquette:

  • Look at the wall in front of you. Not your neighbor, your dick, or anything else – the bare wall in front of you (which reminds me: I’d love to have reading material pasted on the wall. I saw it done at a restaurant once).
  • Don’t talk to your neighbor.
  • If your neighbor talks or you feel you have to, grunt or use one syllable words only.
  • Don’t stand too far away from the urinal. No one cares how long you are.
  • Don’t stand too close to the urinal. No one cares how short you are.
  • Keep your elbows close to your body so there’s no chance of brushing your neighbor.
  • If the urinals are so close that that you accidentally touch your neighbor, pretend it never happened.
  • Don’t make any moaning sounds of relief while urinating. It isn’t funny unless you’re drunk.
  • Wash (not just rinse) your hands afterwards.

The Bathroom Etiquette for the Workplace article is useful. Most of it is common sense though.

Subvert the Dominant Paradigm

The Writings on the Stall is…

an online repository of writings found on restroom walls… [writings that] serve as (informal) forums for politics, pop culture, humor, and so forth. What better, then, than to bring the best of these writings out to the world over this thing we call the Internet? Thoughts and ideas that once were localized can now be made globally available.

They should validate the entries by having to submit photos of the writing; but then, that can be faked too.