I did a lot of drugs when I was a kid…

…because I ate Cherrios (as did Superman, of course).

Popular cereal is a drug, US food watchdog says — and I quote:

Citing a clinical study, the product labels also claim that eating two servings a day of Cheerios helps to reduce bad cholesterol when eaten as part of a diet low in saturated fat and cholesterol, the FDA letter says.

Those claims indicate that Cheerios — said by General Mills to be the best-selling cereal in the United States — is intended to be used to lower cholesterol and prevent, lessen or treat the disease hypercholesterolemia, and to treat and prevent coronary heart disease.

“Because of these intended uses, the product is a drug,” the FDA concluded in its letter.

I was thinking traces of cocaine, which makes more sense when I think about how I used to behave after eating a bowl of Cherrios. At least my cholesterol is well balanced.

Cereal To Go, Please

Cereality logoCereality®:

…more than a place to get cereal. It’s a new way of thinking about cereal. A new choice in fast food. And an idea whose time has come. In fact Cereality is so unique, we have a patent pending.
At Cereality, customers choose from their favorite brands and toppings. Pajama-clad Cereologists® fill the orders. And customers choose and add their own milk, just the way they like it.

I knew my life was missing something.