This made me chuckle: Windows: A thirty-two bit extension and graphical shell to a sixteen bit patch to an eight bit operating system originally coded for a four bit microprocessor which was written by a two-bit company that can’t stand one bit of competition… (via a commenter on CBC)
Cannot find the damn server: The page you are looking for sucks and is currently unavailable. If you are trying to reach a secure site, make sure you are not running Windows. Click the My Computer menu, and then right click Drive C:. On the Menu select “Format”.