We Canadians Got It ALL Planned Out

Canadian Association for the Peaceful Takeover of the USA:

At first look, this idea may seem illogical, unworkable, and a complete waste of time. However, on closer examination and with an open mind, it will be obvious to all citizens that this is not only the best choice for North Americans, but realistically, the only viable option.

One of their arguments:

The US is in big trouble, crime wise. There is an overabundance of guns, and no shortage of people willing to use them… Canada, on the other hand, is downright goofy when it comes to guns and crime. The Canadian Government is, at this very moment, in the process of passing legislation to force people to register every single pop-gun and peashooter in the land.

10 Replies to “We Canadians Got It ALL Planned Out”

  1. I didn’t even click the link to read it because I already know I want Canada to take the US over. Or Slobovia. Or Ghana. Or anyone. Anyone but Bush. Please. Help us.

  2. I was downtown today for my coffee and newspaper but it got pretty damn depressing pretty damn fast. All those photos being released are hard to take in. And the way stories are juxtaposed is weird too–Nick Berg right next to a story about gas prices on the cover of The Globe and Mail. No good.

  3. I don’t watch the news any more, but I can’t help but know what’s going on due to the thousands of sites I visit every day. You’ll notice I don’t post anything political; there’s enough crap shoved in our faces from other sources.

  4. I have no idea what the crap you humans are talking about. Shall I relay upon ye the bliss that is my life? You just have to skip merrily along, singing a smurfy song. La la la la la la, la la la la la.

  5. I like this comment from that site:

    We have trees all over the place and rivers that still empty right into the ocean, an unbelievable concept for those drought ravaged folks in Southern California. Even with NAFTA and all the rest, we Canadians are not too keen on diverting our rivers south of the border just so Americans can have something to drink besides orange juice.

    I happen to like Florida orange juice!

  6. I say we ship everyone who wants to remain “Canadian” over to Quebec, then amalgamate the USA with the other nine provinces & three territories and come up with a new country name. Anyone who wants to remain “American” can move to Alaska.

  7. I think Alaskans would be the first to want to join Canada. Why the heck is it American anyway, way up there sticking out of Canada?

  8. > Why the heck is [Alaska] American anyway, way up there sticking out of Canada?

    I agree with Jody on this one.

    I don’t know how Canada didn’t end up with Alaska. I mean, it’s not like the oddity of Hawaii way the hell out in the middle of the Pacific. (How many Hawaiian’s really consider themselves American?) Alaska’s sitting right there — in Canada.

    Northern Exposure (the best show on television, ever, completely unique, nothing like it before or since, looking forward to my first season DVD package which should be arriving soon) appealed to me because, although I knew it was a complete fantasy world, the personalities of the people on the show seemed to be influenced (i.e., formed and informed) more by the Alaskan landscape than any patriotic bullshit. Which is much the way I feel (as a Canadian, I suppose). As someone who spent a few years of his life walking more on the earth than on pavement and concrete, feeling that connection to the land, I appreciate the sense of identity that comes from living close to the land. Man, I used to love Northern Exposure. Anyway… in this sense (if I’m making any sense here), I’ve always looked at Alaska as being not much different from Canada.

    Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons,
    It is to grow in the open air and to eat and sleep with the earth.

    Walt Whitman

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